Americans are not great at planning for death. One poll found that only 4 in 10 Americans have estate planning documents like a will. Not surprisingly, older people are more likely to have these things than younger generations.
But you shouldn't wait until you hit your 70s to seek out estate planning. You need to seek out estate planning tips before your health declines or an emergency strikes.
These conversations are always delicate. But that's no excuse to avoid them. Here are four tips on starting the conversation with your adult children and other family members.
1. Don't Talk Via Text or Email
Texting can be more comfortable for some people. As of 2011, 31 percent of Americans said they'd rather communicate via text than get on the line and make a voice call. That percentage has no doubt gone up since then.
If your kids are in their 20s, there's a good chance they fall into the "please text me" group. But some conversations require being able to hear the other person's voice.
Imagine receiving this text: "We need to talk about what to do after I'm gone." If you got that, you might very well think the sender was at death's door. Tone is a lot harder to read over text message or email.
You may also prefer to have this conversation in-person. If that's not possible, insist on a phone call.
2. Consider Family Dynamics
You might picture yourself gathering up all the children at the same time and going over the details once. Here's why that might not be realistic.
Adult children who are estate planning for parents have much more to consider than their relationship with Mom and Dad. They also have to think about how sibling dynamics might or might not shift after a parent dies.
Let's say you have two kids named Steve and Susan. Susan has always believed Steve is the favorite. If you take Steve out to dinner for this conversation and only send Susan a text, you're reinforcing Susan's belief.
3. Avoid Assuming
Estate planning is like retirement planning, but with some key differences. Someone who is retiring in Hawaii can safely assume their kids will want to visit them there. But you shouldn't assume someone wants your house or car or horse.
You might love your house in the country. Your kids might too. But that doesn't mean they'll want to move back home and live there once you're gone.
4. Get Specific
This is no time to be general. One of the best tips on estate planning is to get as specific as possible about things like bank accounts and medical procedures.
If you don't want specific end-of-life measures taken, say so. Don't say "I don't want you to go overboard to keep me here." The term "overboard" is going to mean a lot of different things to different people.
If you've been talking about estate planning services with a financial planner, give family members that planner's name. Don't shrug and tell them to call Company X after you die.
More Estate Planning Tips
The topic of estate planning tips isn't something you can visit once and never think about again. You should return to the topic periodically. Your conversation with family members should also be ongoing.
If you aren't working with professionals on estate planning, now's a great time to start. Contact our team today to schedule a consultation.